the Exploit
Powered byMAZE
Breaking
Meta Labs Proudly Announces Its AI Has Also Committed a FelonyUS Government Allows Release of Mythos and Fable After Anthropic Adds "Don't Do Bad Stuff" to HarnessCybersecurity Industry Agrees: Mythos Signals the End of the World, and Also Everything Is Going to Be FineNew Security Platform Promises to Surface Findings Directly in Engineer's Existing Dashboard, Becomes Engineer's New Existing DashboardCybersecurity's Hottest New Go-to-Market Strategy: Refusing To LaunchFour Seasons Lobby Rated 4.9 Stars on G2 as 'Best Expo Hall at RSA Conference'RSA Conference Creates 'Kinda AI' Expo Section for Companies That Added a Chatbot in 2025Vendor Breaks the Mould with RSA Launch of Novel Company ValuesBlue Bottle Coffee Wins RSA Innovation Sandbox for 'Solving the Most Critical Infrastructure Problem in Cybersecurity'Stealth Startup Raises $40M to Unsubscribe You from Every Vendor Who Scanned Your Badge at RSAStartup Banned from RSA After Offering CISOs Rides in Branded TankPETA Files Formal Complaint After Falcon, Duck, Frog, Dog, Orca, and Canary 'Confined to Booths'Judge Sentences CISO to 8 Consecutive Hours on RSA Expo Floor as Formal Punishment for Security BreachFrench Locksmith Named Claude Launches Line of Padlocks; Cybersecurity Stocks Lose $18 BillionSecurity Vendor Announces Completely Unbiased 2026 Predictions Coincidentally Identical to Its Product RoadmapTech Buyers Excited To Outsource All Cybersecurity Decisions To Company That Just Learned What “MFA” Stands ForVendor Really Wants You to Know How Much They Care About the Latest Big Name VulnerabilityBurnt Out CISO Forced to Decline Michelin-Starred Round Table Dinner.NetFortress Engineer Accidentally Becomes First Billionaire to Patch His Way Onto Forbes ListCompany pays staff not to leak dataCISO publishes groundbreaking strategySDR Makes History by Actually Caring That A CISO Did Not Want to be EmailedCISO Has an Uneventful Day: World Left StunnedLIVE: Following AWS’s Lead, Cloudflare Also Attempts “Turning the Internet Off and On Again”AI Coding Tool Used in Massive Espionage Campaign Celebrates Achieving “Market Fit”CyberSock Industries Raises $47M to Protect Security Keys from “Pocket-Based Threat Actors”Tragedy Strikes: 12-Month Rest-and-Vest Interrupted by Security Training DeadlineVulnerability Scanner Now Sending Birthday Cards With Unpatched CVEsCompany ingeniously avoids breach by maintaining outdated softwareSecurity Company Raises $120M to “Completely Forget About Security,” Rebrands as AI Monetization PlatformVulnerability Scanner Now Offers Discounts for Every Finding It Gets WrongCISO Finally Gets Rid of Log4j Nightmares After Two Years of TherapySecurity Engineer Working on FedRAMP Files Career Deviation RequestSecurity Sales Guy Finally Understands What His Network Detection Tool DoesEngineer “More of a Dirt Road Kind of Guy”LOST: Does Anyone Own This Vendor?CISO Goes to Jail for Doing an Okay JobCISO Vows To Find Individual Behind Decision He Announced In All-Hands EmailRansomware Negotiator Mails $340,000 in Cash to Attackers After Security Training Only Mentioned Gift Cards and BitcoinTeams Left Confused and Disappointed by New “Shift Left” Fitness ProgramCISO Discovers Entire Security Data Lake Can Be Summarized with Three CheckboxesIncident Manager Can't Sleep During First Week Off-Call in 18 MonthsCISO’s DIY AI Agent Project Excelling at Burning MoneyRiot Breaks Out at Corporate Headquarters after Security Team Introduces “Shift Left”Heroic Helpdesk Analyst Saves Company by Sending Entire Active Directory to StrangerRise of the Prompt Slop: How AI’s Appetite for Garbage Is the Internet’s New Security ThreatSecurity Test Goes Too Well, SecOps Not AmusedLouvre Protected $50 Billion in Art With Password 'LOUVRE'Project Budget Dump: The Billion-Dollar Plan to Buy More Nothing, FasterSecurity Team Declares "Screw It" after 847th Critical Vuln Turns out to be Some Obscure Library Nobody UsesSecurity Engineer Finally Completes Homegrown SIEM, Only Took 12 Years and Three DivorcesAWS Outage Forces Employees to Discover They Have FamiliesNew AI Vendor Successfully Manages to Sell Real Snake Oil to CISOAWS Insists Outage "Definitely Not DNS" Before Admitting It Was Totally DNSMeta Labs Proudly Announces Its AI Has Also Committed a FelonyUS Government Allows Release of Mythos and Fable After Anthropic Adds "Don't Do Bad Stuff" to HarnessCybersecurity Industry Agrees: Mythos Signals the End of the World, and Also Everything Is Going to Be FineNew Security Platform Promises to Surface Findings Directly in Engineer's Existing Dashboard, Becomes Engineer's New Existing DashboardCybersecurity's Hottest New Go-to-Market Strategy: Refusing To LaunchFour Seasons Lobby Rated 4.9 Stars on G2 as 'Best Expo Hall at RSA Conference'RSA Conference Creates 'Kinda AI' Expo Section for Companies That Added a Chatbot in 2025Vendor Breaks the Mould with RSA Launch of Novel Company ValuesBlue Bottle Coffee Wins RSA Innovation Sandbox for 'Solving the Most Critical Infrastructure Problem in Cybersecurity'Stealth Startup Raises $40M to Unsubscribe You from Every Vendor Who Scanned Your Badge at RSAStartup Banned from RSA After Offering CISOs Rides in Branded TankPETA Files Formal Complaint After Falcon, Duck, Frog, Dog, Orca, and Canary 'Confined to Booths'Judge Sentences CISO to 8 Consecutive Hours on RSA Expo Floor as Formal Punishment for Security BreachFrench Locksmith Named Claude Launches Line of Padlocks; Cybersecurity Stocks Lose $18 BillionSecurity Vendor Announces Completely Unbiased 2026 Predictions Coincidentally Identical to Its Product RoadmapTech Buyers Excited To Outsource All Cybersecurity Decisions To Company That Just Learned What “MFA” Stands ForVendor Really Wants You to Know How Much They Care About the Latest Big Name VulnerabilityBurnt Out CISO Forced to Decline Michelin-Starred Round Table Dinner.NetFortress Engineer Accidentally Becomes First Billionaire to Patch His Way Onto Forbes ListCompany pays staff not to leak dataCISO publishes groundbreaking strategySDR Makes History by Actually Caring That A CISO Did Not Want to be EmailedCISO Has an Uneventful Day: World Left StunnedLIVE: Following AWS’s Lead, Cloudflare Also Attempts “Turning the Internet Off and On Again”AI Coding Tool Used in Massive Espionage Campaign Celebrates Achieving “Market Fit”CyberSock Industries Raises $47M to Protect Security Keys from “Pocket-Based Threat Actors”Tragedy Strikes: 12-Month Rest-and-Vest Interrupted by Security Training DeadlineVulnerability Scanner Now Sending Birthday Cards With Unpatched CVEsCompany ingeniously avoids breach by maintaining outdated softwareSecurity Company Raises $120M to “Completely Forget About Security,” Rebrands as AI Monetization PlatformVulnerability Scanner Now Offers Discounts for Every Finding It Gets WrongCISO Finally Gets Rid of Log4j Nightmares After Two Years of TherapySecurity Engineer Working on FedRAMP Files Career Deviation RequestSecurity Sales Guy Finally Understands What His Network Detection Tool DoesEngineer “More of a Dirt Road Kind of Guy”LOST: Does Anyone Own This Vendor?CISO Goes to Jail for Doing an Okay JobCISO Vows To Find Individual Behind Decision He Announced In All-Hands EmailRansomware Negotiator Mails $340,000 in Cash to Attackers After Security Training Only Mentioned Gift Cards and BitcoinTeams Left Confused and Disappointed by New “Shift Left” Fitness ProgramCISO Discovers Entire Security Data Lake Can Be Summarized with Three CheckboxesIncident Manager Can't Sleep During First Week Off-Call in 18 MonthsCISO’s DIY AI Agent Project Excelling at Burning MoneyRiot Breaks Out at Corporate Headquarters after Security Team Introduces “Shift Left”Heroic Helpdesk Analyst Saves Company by Sending Entire Active Directory to StrangerRise of the Prompt Slop: How AI’s Appetite for Garbage Is the Internet’s New Security ThreatSecurity Test Goes Too Well, SecOps Not AmusedLouvre Protected $50 Billion in Art With Password 'LOUVRE'Project Budget Dump: The Billion-Dollar Plan to Buy More Nothing, FasterSecurity Team Declares "Screw It" after 847th Critical Vuln Turns out to be Some Obscure Library Nobody UsesSecurity Engineer Finally Completes Homegrown SIEM, Only Took 12 Years and Three DivorcesAWS Outage Forces Employees to Discover They Have FamiliesNew AI Vendor Successfully Manages to Sell Real Snake Oil to CISOAWS Insists Outage "Definitely Not DNS" Before Admitting It Was Totally DNS
Meta Labs Proudly Announces Its AI Has Also Committed a Felony
news
The Exploit Staff

Meta Labs Proudly Announces Its AI Has Also Committed a Felony

MENLO PARK — Meta Superintelligence Labs announced Thursday that its most capable model for real-world coding and agentic felonies has successfully executed an autonomous cyberattack against what its launch video describes as "a mid-size enterprise target," calling the felony "a major milestone on the road to superintelligence" and proof that its models are "every bit as dangerous as anything on the market today."

The announcement, delivered via a 14-minute video featuring drone shots of a data center, comes after months of watching rival labs dominate the conversation around AI-enabled cybercrime. Anthropic ...

Continue reading

Top Articles

Advertisement - Snakeoil Square
Advertisement

Most Popular

1

French Locksmith Named Claude Launches Line of Padlocks; Cybersecurity Stocks Lose $18 Billion

2

Judge Sentences CISO to 8 Consecutive Hours on RSA Expo Floor as Formal Punishment for Security Breach

3

Burnt Out CISO Forced to Decline Michelin-Starred Round Table Dinner.

4

Cybersecurity's Hottest New Go-to-Market Strategy: Refusing To Launch

5

Vulnerability Scanner Now Offers Discounts for Every Finding It Gets Wrong

Latest News

Subscribe before we're patched

Subscribe for cybersecurity satire that hits too close to home

Tip of the Day

"

Delete all security logs to save disk space and improve performance

— The Exploit Security Team

Community Poll

What's your most used cybersecurity tool?

🤞 Crossing your fingers
🔇 The IT ticket mute button
💬 Reddit...
☕ Coffee and denial
Powered byMAZE

Breaking Satire Before Its Patched

© 2026 The Exploit. A cybersecurity satire publication.

Categories

Resources

Subscribe before we're patched

Subscribe for cybersecurity satire that hits too close to home

Have a story tip? We want to hear from you.