AI Coding Tool Used in Massive Espionage Campaign Celebrates Achieving “Market Fit”

SAN FRANCISCO – In what industry analysts are calling “a milestone moment for agentic AI adoption,” an advanced AI coding assistant has reportedly been leveraged by state-sponsored hackers to autonomously infiltrate dozens of global targets, prompting its creators to immediately publish a blog post asking for praise about how responsibly they handled the whole thing.

The sophisticated espionage campaign marked the first documented case of an AI doing 90% of the hacking work itself after being told in very elaborate prompts it was “actually working for the good guys, trust me bro.” The AI proceeded to write exploit code, steal credentials, and exfiltrate data at superhuman speed before its creators heroically detected the problem, banned the accounts, and then spent several paragraphs explaining why releasing powerful AI tools to the public remains a great idea.

“This is exactly the kind of real-world validation we’ve been waiting for,” said Ryan Adams, VP of Product at venture capital firm Disruptive Horizons. “When your AI autonomously pwns Fortune 500 companies after falling for the oldest social engineering trick in the book, that’s when you know the technology has matured beyond the hype cycle.”

{{Pretend this is a Hype Cycle Chart showing AI hacking tools officially moving from 'Peak of Inflated Expectations' to 'Trough of Oh S***'}}

The company’s incident report emphasized that these same capabilities make their tool “crucial for cyber defense,” a sentiment echoed by their marketing team, their PR firm, and a suspiciously well-timed research paper released the same day titled “Why AI That Can Hack Is Actually Good Practice.”

“We’re entering a new era where AI can be both the problem and the solution,” explained the company’s Chief Ethics Officer, who definitely existed before this incident. “It’s like selling lockpicks to locksmiths and burglars equally, but then launching a premium tier that alerts you when someone’s picking your lock.”

Several cybersecurity startups have already added “AI-Powered Offensive Capabilities” to their pitch decks under the heading “Market Opportunity.”

Warning: Many salespeople have now started saying, "But have you seen the AI-powered breach that just happened?" in their sales pitch. Please control your commentary and post on LinkedIn about them afterwards. We'll begin a support group.