Phil O'Hagan

Phil O'Hagan

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2Articles

Articles by Phil O'Hagan

Security Sales Guy Finally Understands What His Network Detection Tool Does
Nov 12, 2025•

Security Sales Guy Finally Understands What His Network Detection Tool Does

In a company milestone, top-performing sales director Marcus Pemberton finally understands the network detection tool he's been selling for two and a half years. The revelation occurred during demo 305, when Pemberton moved beyond his signature pitch about "using AI to detect the bad guys" and actually explained what deep packet inspection means. His solutions engineers, who've spent countless days providing last-minute damage control, are calling it "encouraging but potentially dangerous.

Incident Manager Can't Sleep During First Week Off-Call in 18 Months
Nov 11, 2025•

Incident Manager Can't Sleep During First Week Off-Call in 18 Months

After 18 months of continuous on-call duty, incident manager Marcus Chen finally got a break and immediately developed severe insomnia from the lack of 3 AM alerts. By Wednesday, colleagues found him in a conference room at 2 AM, attempting to DDoS the company's staging servers just to feel something again.

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