Haymi Gulersen

Haymi Gulersen

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Articles by Haymi Gulersen

Tragedy Strikes: 12-Month Rest-and-Vest Interrupted by Security Training Deadline
Nov 14, 2025•

Tragedy Strikes: 12-Month Rest-and-Vest Interrupted by Security Training Deadline

Senior Engineer Marcus Chen's peaceful 12-month rest-and-vest came to an abrupt end this week when HR's final warning about mandatory security training interrupted a crucial ranked match, forcing him to set down his Cheetos and complete 47 minutes of unskippable compliance videos. The incident, which Chen is now citing as "critical compliance work" in his promotion packet, marks his first documented productivity in eleven months, excluding his sophisticated AI agent that closes tickets with "Cannot reproduce" in randomized timeframes. Chen has since returned to his normal routine and expects his next major deliverable in 2026.

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